Screen time, phones and your family
Practical, sourced guidance for the situation you are actually in — handing over a first phone, rules that keep getting broken, or working out what is reasonable at your child’s age.
Most families need less software than the internet suggests. The controls already built into Android and the iPhone cost nothing and cover a great deal, so it is worth ruling those out before paying for anything — and worth knowing that monitoring a teenager carries a cost that the review sites rarely mention.
I'm about to hand over a first phone
The setup you do before you give it to them is the easiest leverage you will ever have. Afterwards, every change is a negotiation.
I want rules we both actually agreed to
What belongs in a family phone agreement, including the clause most templates leave out — what happens when it gets broken.
The rules keep getting broken
A rule with no agreed consequence is a suggestion. What to do the first time, and why escalating straight to confiscation usually backfires.
My teenager won't put it down
Teenagers are not adults with less willpower — the pull is genuinely stronger at that age, and the research says why.
I don't know what's reasonable for their age
What to actually do at 3, 7, 11 and 15 — because the honest answer changes completely across those four points.
I want to change how our whole household works
Household-level changes tend to outperform child-level rules, partly because they apply to the adults too.
I want to filter, limit or monitor their device
What the free built-in controls already do, when a paid tool is worth it, and where monitoring costs more in trust than it buys in safety.
Before you buy anything
Every printable on this site is free and there is no email wall. The family phone agreement is the one most households get the most out of, and it costs nothing to try before you consider a subscription. If you want the argument about monitoring in full, it is in should you monitor your teen’s phone.